Depression Mentality: The Sequel - by Jeff Hirsch

The President won’t say the “R” word, but signs that consumers are feeling the pain of a stagnant economy and rising prices can be found everywhere. Maybe you’ve even made some changes yourself.

You know things are bad when people start drinking more Keystone Light and less Corona. According to IRI, as quoted in the New York Times, sales of the latter are up and the former are down. The same article cites Technomic data indicating that the number of people ordering an alcoholic drink in a restaurant fell to 31% in March from 42% last summer. That’s a big drop, especially considering that we’re talking about a category of products that people crave.

But no wonder. If you live in New York, L.A., Chicago, Miami or any other big city, one drink might set you back $15. If you’re going out as a couple or have more than one, well, you can do the math.

The 20-something urban set seems to have been on to this for quite a while. In many, many focus groups over the years, young adults have told me that they drink at home to “get a buzz” before they go out, then order sparingly and drink very slowly in the bars or restaurants to conserve funds.

Now it looks like the working and middle-classes are following suit.

I can’t help but think of my grandfather. He would never pay restaurant prices for a drink, always opting for his precisely measured jigger of Dewar’s on the rocks at home before going to dinner. And of course, once he was at the restaurant – the Early Bird special, 4:30 PM reservation – he wouldn’t order anything a la carte. If the baked potato didn’t come with dinner, that was that.

This kind of frugality was sometimes referred to as a “Depression Mentality,” after the famous economic downturn, not the state of mind. In a nation of spenders, second mortgages and excessive credit card debt, will this self-denial continue when the good times inevitably start rolling again? There is the possibility, though I doubt a good one, that chastened consumers adopt a more conservative approach to spending and saving, which would indeed cause depression – in every sense of the word – for marketers.

Brands as Super Heroes: Lessons from the Comics - by Jeff Hirsch

“Yeah, I can fly,” says Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man in the blockbuster that opened with over $100 million at the box office this weekend. Films based on comics are certainly soaring, with Marvel alone touting $4.9 billion in worldwide gross to date for its comic-based feature films. In his review of Iron Man in last Thursday’s L.A. Times, film critic Kenneth Turan observes, “the comic book movie is clearly the genre of our time.”

Marketers should be paying a lot of attention to this ever-growing phenomenon. My young friend Ben Jackendoff, our go-to-guy for his insight into the youth and young adult markets, gaming, new media and social networking, has a laser-like focus on bringing comics to the big screen in his movie-producing career. Beyond Batman, Superman, The Hulk, X-Men and the other household names, there are immensely popular graphic novels and comics out there that will work their way into the mainstream sooner rather than later if Ben and his like-minded colleagues have anything to say about it.

Ben constantly reminds me of the Jungian, mythic power of these timeless stories. There is much more going on here than good versus evil. The ambiguity of these characters, their fears, weaknesses and darker sides of their personalities are a direct reflection of our struggles to make sense of and survive in a morally complex and dangerous world. Regardless, the numbers speak for themselves – comics are huge and highly relevant.

There is a lesson in this for marketers. I often talk about the mythic power of great brands and the “hero stories” of their visionary founders. But when iconic brands are discounted and line-extended to the extreme, can there be any surprise that brand loyalty continues to erode?

Villains such as The Joker, The Penguin and The Riddler are the line extensions of comics. But while he may have many adversaries, but there is only one Batman. Imagine what Batman line extensions would do to the franchise - new, additional “Batmen” like “Batman Las Vegas” or “Urban-Gang-Busting Batman.” Mess with your Brand Myth, and you’ve got trouble. Something to think about next time you pass by Fruity Cheerios in the supermarket.

Does Life Imitate Art? - by Jeff Hirsch

I don’t know about that, but I can tell you this with absolute certainty: That marketing imitates Saturday Night Live.

SNL’s “fake” commercials are prescient. Great exaggerations, lampoons of brand promises that fall short, or simply absurd new product ideas. You’d think that hell would freeze over before these made-up brands got to market as bona fide products. But they do.

The very first episode of the show in 1975 featured an ad spoof for the Triple Trac, three-blade razor, because "You'll believe anything." Gillette's now up to four blades and counting. Then of course, we have the fabulous John Belushi as Decathlon Champion, belly jiggling out over his shorts as he rounds the track to set a world record. The final frames of the spot show him smoking a cigarette, testifying that he owes it all to the breakfast cereal “Little Chocolate Donuts." Checked the cereal aisle lately? We've got Cookie Crisp, Oreo O’s, Reese’s Puffs and S’mores Crunch just to name a few. Not to mention Chocolate Donutz Cereal from General Mills, which was available briefly in the early 1980's. Childhood obesity? No problem! Cocoa Puffs is now whole grain! In 1981, there was "Trans-Eastern Airlines," whose theme song was, "It's like riding in a cattle car with wings." You are now free to move around the country.

The list goes on. Maybe it's not that we'll believe anything. But that we'll accept anything. I have long predicted that consumers will finally rebel against poor service, non-stop commercial messages, ballparks named after corporations, bad service or just being ignored. I'm still waiting...

Lost in Translation - by Jeff Hirsch

Are you speaking the same language your consumers speak? More and more, I see my job as that of translator.

It stands to reason that whatever language your consumers speak, you would want to communicate with them in that language.

But all too often, it seems that companies are speaking Greek to customers who speak English. Their message isn’t just lost in translation. It’s just lost.

Technology companies are more to blame than consumer goods companies, and understandably so. Their engineers, scientists and programmers spend months or years to bring highly complex products to life. We’re not talking about a snack here, but about serious, complex business solutions for serious business people. When those products are finally ready for market, of course they want their potential customers to know how hard they’ve worked and what they’ve succeeded in doing against great odds. They honestly believe their product will seem more special if they tell consumers every single product feature and the technology behind it.

Unfortunately, customers – even business customers – could care less. In the consumer market, what they care about is driving fast or using a sexy new kind of cell phone that provides easy access to their music, emails and the Internet. Internal combustion and arcane programming codes are the last things on their minds. And it’s no different when selling B2B.

This seems to be straightforward, and indeed, many companies boast that they are consumer, rather than technology focused. But so many companies, in consumer goods industries as well as technology, seem to miss the point.

For example, we just repositioned and developed marketing executions for a software company called Island Data. More than anything, our work was based on marketing research with their existing corporate clients and prospects.

Here was the headline on their website when we first met them:

Is your marketing ROI measurable? Are your marketing campaigns and metrics based on intuition or actual customer experience?

Does that tell you what they do? What is the main benefit? How should their customers feel when they use the software?

It was clear that Island Data had created some incredible, proprietary technology. And we learned about it in depth. We heard about algorithms, the downside of linguistic searches, word clusters, codes, attributes, themes and more. It was overwhelming and confusing to us, and that was with detailed explanations directly from the client – details that prospects could never hope to receive from an ad or even a website.

And if we didn’t get it after all that, it was not a leap of faith to consider that a huge communications barrier was significantly limiting sales. Even in a B2B environment, product benefits need to be delivered in the blink of an eye in a very compelling, emotional way.

Remarkably, Island Data was probably doing the best job of communicating with their target prospects within their competitive set. Consider the product description of one of their key competitors, taken directly from that company’s website:

Attensity's technology is the culmination of over a decade of research in computational linguistics at the University of Utah. This research led to breakthrough software that allows computers to understand and process free-form text, offering government and commercial organizations the opportunity to leverage the vast amounts of information contained in nonstructured formats.

The technology…creates output in XML and in a structured relational data format that is fused with existing structured data for analysis. Building on its award winning, patented text extraction technology, Attensity offers an integrated Text Analytics suite that enables users to seamlessly extract facts from text using Attensity's wide-range of statistical and linguistic extraction technologies, and then using a web-based application, further search, classify, discover and analyze text to rapidly and accurately identify issues, uncover problems and drive decisions.

Huh? I use this product why? It helps me how? Sounds like Greek to me!

I cannot vouch for Attensity’s product, but after talking to Island Data’s clients in-depth, both face-to-face and over the telephone, it was clear that Island Data was highly valuable in very tangible ways, but that it also transcended mere functionality.

But what did it all mean, and how could we take this Greek and turn it into English?

First, it was clear that these marketers, both as individuals and part of a larger corporate culture, were highly focused on the customer experience. In the words of the CEO of a chain of restaurants, “I paid dearly to acquire my customers. I need to do everything I can to hold on to them.”

Next, the real benefit of Island Data wasn’t about text mining, algorithms, or patented technology. It was about seeking order from chaos. Taking overwhelming amounts – tens of thousands of emails and other customer comments that come in every month – and making sense of them. To truly understand what customers were saying, in their own words, and having the ability to do something about it. Fast.

It also led to a very important feeling for respondents: “I’m in control.”

This premise was tested in focus groups with sophisticated B2B, Fortune 500 executives along with other positioning concepts, resulting in this very straightforward translation:

“Turn mountains of customer feedback into business-building action."

Here are the before and after website home pages.






It’s too early to tell how this translation will affect sales, which ironically, begs the question, “Is (our client’s) marketing ROI measurable?” But we do think that we succeeded in transforming Island Data’s communications to a customer orientation, which will indeed accelerate the sales process significantly.

The Death of Baseball - by Jeff Hirsch

I went to my third and probably last Dodger game of the year last night. Maybe my last Dodger game ever. Call me old fashioned, but going to a game just isn’t what it used to be. Actually, don’t call my old fashioned. Just call me sane.

Perhaps I’m spoiled. The first game I ever went to was at Yankee Stadium, probably around 1960 or 1961. Doubleheader with the Tigers. It was with my dad, his best friend from high school, Al, and his son, Eddie.

I’ll never forget climbing the steep ramps of the old Yankee Stadium (before the 1970’s remodel), up and up and up and up for what seemed like forever. Finally, we reached our level. We walked through a dark, narrow tunnel, and then… The sunshine and the sea of green that was the Yankee Stadium outfield overwhelmed me. I never saw greener grass or anything so beautiful in my life. It was mesmerizing, almost a religious experience. I still get that feeling whenever I go to a baseball game, wherever it is.

The day was long and leisurely. The sights, sounds and smells were memorable. Kids turned over empty soda cups and stomped on them, making a loud popping sound that echoed through the old ballpark. I heard guys whistle in ways I didn’t think were possible. Vendors hawked peanuts, Cracker Jack, Cokes, Schaeffer beer, hot dogs and ice cream. We ate copious amounts of horrible food and enjoyed it thoroughly. We sat and watched batting practice and the pitchers shagging flies in the outfield. In between games we just hung out and talked. It was so much fun just to be at the ballpark.

Al was amazing. He remembered every detail of very ballgame he’d ever attended. When I asked him, ten years later, about that day, he instantly said, “Doubleheader with the Tigers. Yankees won the first, lost the second,” then went on to tell me the final scores, starting pitchers and the highlights.

The games were great too. I think, but I’m not sure, that was the day when Rocky Colavito made a fabulous diving catch, robbing Hector Lopez of a game ending hit, but breaking his collarbone in the process. But I don’t know…I’m no Al. Maybe that was another Yankees-Tiger game I saw.

But I wonder what Al would remember after the head-pounding, bone-rattling, ear-splitting, over-the-top marketing assault that passes for a live baseball game in Los Angeles today. Last night, I couldn’t wait to get out of there, and I could barely remember my name by the time I left the ballpark.

Gone are the days where the main attraction of a baseball game was actually the game itself. And you certainly can’t take in any sights or sounds. You are bombarded non-stop, as soon as you walk into the ballpark.

It seems to me that the game was simply a medium to carry as much advertising as possible. Everything was sponsored, and I mean everything. Batting practice. Strikeouts, home runs, walks. If the Dodgers score ten runs you get a free order of wings at Hooters! (This excited my date to a game earlier in the year to no end.)

The very first thing that happens after you walk through the turnstile is an assault from a guy who wants to give you a “free” T-shirt if you sign up for a Dodger credit card. “Come on, you like the Dodgers! Sign up!” Actually, I’m a Mets fan and I like my credit rating more than either team.

Hollywood Park Casino was a big sponsor. “Hey fans, looking for something to do after the game? Come gamble at the casino!” I’m not making this up. Doesn’t that just make you want to grab your ten-year-old boy and bring him out to the old ball game?

There is a electronic “banner” that curves around the entire length of the stadium, from left field, around home plate and back out to right field. This is constantly lit up with some kind of colorful advertisement. “Another Kragen Auto Parts Strikeout!!!”

In between innings, we are forced to look at (and listen to) the Jumbotron, where we can guess which Chevy Truck will win the race, or watch some hapless fan guess the answer to a Coke Dodger trivia question or a Universal Studios (“The Entertainment Capital of Los Angeles!!”) entertainment trivia question created by one of your favorite Dodger players! Last night, and again, I’m not making this up, the trivia question was, “Which movie featured a ferocious T-Rex?” Was it “Jaws,” “ET,” or “Jurassic Park?” (The guy got it right.)

There wasn’t a moment of peace. If a Dodger player draws a walk, there is a sponsored celebration with sights and sounds that would make you think the Dodgers just won the World Series.

It is impossible to talk. Or think. What we feel about every ball and strike, every play, every idle moment is dictated to us.

Baseball, at least in Los Angeles, is truly dying, victim to the need to squeeze every possible penny out of every fan and every square foot of space. I’m beyond the $8 watered down Bud Light. This is about a sensory assault that not fan should have to tolerate.

I wonder why the fans do still tolerate it. You’d have to think, that over time, the poor experience would translate to lower attendance, but that doesn’t seem to have happened yet.

Of course, there’s a terrifying alternative point of view about all this. Maybe that’s what fans really want. The burdens of actually communicating with your friends and family, of being still for a moment, of not being entertained non-stop – could it be too much for the contemporary fan?

It’s not unlike going into a restaurant or bar with TV’s all over the place. Intimate conversation with my dinner date? I think not….

I have faith in people – fans and consumers. They’ll get fed up at the mall where plasma screen TV’s blast ads at you when you’re walking around or sitting down for a bite to eat in the food court. They’ll stop showing up at ball games if it’s going to be expensive and unpleasant. They’ll get pissed off at the companies who plaster their brand names on stadiums or Bowl games. (The Poulan Weedeater Bowl is still my favorite.)

We’re starting to see it. People are using the web to create their own communities and their own entertainment. The top down flow of news, entertainment and opinion has been turned upside down.

It’s the age old question of short-term revenue versus long-term viability. Short-term is still way ahead, but push consumers to far – and I think they’re now right on the brink – and you’ll see that change fast.

The great marketers get this already.

The New (No) Ad Agency - by Jeff Hirsch

None other than Michael Eisner, former Chairman of the Walt Disney Company, “is launching an independent studio that will produce and distribute original content for the Web and digital platforms,” according to the Hollywood Reporter.

It seems that not a week goes by without a corporation, studio, web portal, independent producer or other entertainment mogul announcing that they too are getting into the “content” business. Just like the rest, Eisner’s new enterprise, “dubbed Vuguru… will focus on story-driven projects designed to be consumed on multiple platforms.”

Such “story-driven projects” and other “content” for the web have been around since broadband penetration surpassed dial-up for web access years ago. But as a Variety article late last year noted, “No one has yet to make a fortune at this game.”

Why is that? Will Eisner fare any better? The signs are not positive. Consider that the media giant Warner Bros. launched their content company, “Studio 2.0,” to great fanfare last September and all they have to show for it is a deal for a single show with the troubled “BudTV” website.

This isn’t rocket science. We simply have more “content” than time. In a March 18, 2007 New York Times column, the film critic A.O. Scott observes, “The technology has yet to be developed that can increase the number of hours in the day, which means that, somehow, we will still need to choose among the thousands of movies at our instantaneous disposal.”

It is possible, even probable, that some kind of web gatekeeping system will emerge, with online tastemakers steering us to content. Of course, that is precisely the same purpose that was served by the old Hollywood studio system and the Big Three broadcast television networks.

In the meantime, barriers for writers, filmmakers, graphic artists and musicians to showcase their work have never been lower. Moreover, the thrill of discovering something new, authentic and organic seems to be far more satisfying to teens and young adults than being force-fed formulaic content from the media establishment.

So is there “a fortune” to be made in the content business or not? Will established corporate entities figure out how to cash in or will user generated YouTube-type content rule the day?

It all depends on your point of reference. If “content” is approached from a marketing perspective, as advertiser sponsored entertainment or information, and not purely as “art” or “entertainment,” there is a lot of money to be made.

While we have known for a quite a while now that ad agencies and broadcast networks are dinosaurs, there seems to be a disproportionate amount of energy still devoted to the 30-second TV spot. I wonder why.

The ad agency system will be replaced, sooner rather than later, with a new kind of media company, one that redefines relationships between the creative community, marketers, consumers, and the audience for popular entertainment.

This company won’t be staffed by copywriters and art directors, but by talent from the arts and entertainment communities, rising stars and proven mainstream talents including screenwriters, directors, producers, musicians, actors, photographers, graphic artists and others. Creativity will also flow from consumers, who will demand to participate in the process of marketing to themselves and be recognized for their efforts.

This new company may still produce ads, but only as a part of its larger mission, which is to develop proprietary “content” for the purpose of brand building.

As “content” replaces the 30-second spot, we are likely to witness something marketers could only dream about until now. Unlike traditional ads, which are “pushed” to viewers, high quality “content” will “pull” target consumers to the companies and their brands.

“Content” can be anything, but it better be good. “Great creative” is not an end in itself, just the ante to get into the game. A wide range of content should be available some overtly commercial, some simply there as entertainment, but all must be created strictly within the brand positioning and personality.

You don’t always need to be literal. For example, a reality show about the social lives of a group of first year law students (think “Legally Blond” meets “The Paper Chase”) is far more interesting than a contrived group of fictional friends whose lives revolve around a brand of beer, soft drink or snack food. Your consumers will make the positive connections to your brand on their own and appreciate you all the more for it.

A cause-related component is also crucial. A great example is “The Southern Comfort Music Fund…created to help the New Orleans music scene rise again” after Hurricane Katrina. This not only demonstrates how to choose a noteworthy cause with direct roots in the brand’s DNA, it also provides the key to content development.

Such a single-minded focus is the mother lode of brand-building creative opportunity. Think of how the Music Fund could pull together of all the brand’s marketing efforts in a very human and compelling way. There could be live webcasts of concerts, consumer-based talent discovery contests, music videos, music downloads, CD’s for sale (maybe at Starbucks or a casual dining establishment like TGI Fridays, with a percentage of sales going to the cause) and other video based stories of how musicians and other artists have struggled to reestablish their own careers and the arts scene.

Yes, content is still king and fortunes will be made. That is, when content developers figure out that they’re in the marketing business, more so than the entertainment business.

Celebration of Simplicity by Jeffrey Hirsch

What can be more American than choice?

From the thrill of closing the curtain and pulling the lever for the candidates of your choice to pushing the shopping cart down the aisle every week, choice is exhilarating. The latter certainly isn’t as profound, not on the surface anyway, but there is no denying the ability of that cheery array of brands, colorful packages and hopeful messages to infuse us with child-like glee as we shop.

Unfortunately, there is a point where choice becomes overwhelming--maybe even oppressive.

Just take a look at the cough medicine, shampoo and toothpaste sections of any store, to name a few. You’ll see fewer brands in a dizzying array of choices.

We should be grateful for the roles innovation and technology in giving us fewer cavities, whiter teeth and shinier, healthier hair, but it seems as though shoppers almost need to create computer models for conjoint analysis just to brush their teeth. Just which Crest is right for me? The one that fights cavities and whitens teeth, or that one that whitens teeth and fights cavities and gets by breath fresher?

There are no fewer than thirteen categories of toothpaste on the Crest website. Multiple choices exist in most of them.

Of course, we want share and shelf space, but we are marketing ourselves to death. Where’s the emotion? Once a brand tries to be all things to all people, even with a vast array of choices, it can only stand for generic.

Consumers from our Kitchen Table Sessions and other qualitative research are telling us that they’re overwhelmed by choice. Dissonance is at an all time high. “Was this really the right choice for me? Might one of those dozen formulations been better?”

Take some time over the holidays, slow down, and think about the great choices we make in our lives, whether they were spouses, homes, cars, beers or toothpastes. Chances are, no matter how complex the decision, it came down to a simple, central emotional truth.

Long, Fine & Damaged by Rebecca Barkin

My hair is fine, as in delicate, but not thin. It’s chocolate with highlights and low-lights. I prefer volume and body to smooth and straight. There is some product out there that a lab cooked up specifically for me. Problem is, I gave up on finding it.

The aisle alone intimidates me. I once bought the brightest colored bottle and bolted, and it now happens to be a product that I’m devoted to, but I didn’t buy it because it indexed high on a grid of hair traits, even if it claims to.

What I really want out of a good washing is to feel good about myself. I invest in my hair and my appearance because it makes me feel like I’m just a little more well-equipped to deal with an unfair parking ticket, an impromptu presentation at work, or a fight with my boyfriend. If there was one lone, pretty bottle named “Keep Your Head (of beautiful hair) Up,” I might buy it.

I don’t take care of my hair because it keeps my neck warm, or the anti-gravity of its healthful bounce makes walking easier, or its strength can endure a sandstorm. I take care of it because it’s connected to my self-esteem. In the everlasting battle of Emotion vs. functionality, emotion wins.

Yet, advertising often goes the route of addressing function, how the product physically works, or its actual scientific benefits. Take for example the skin care industry’s abundant use of the terms “antioxidant” and “free radical,” most of them claiming to eliminate these nasty, wrinkle-inducing toxins.

Women ages 20 and up drop these terms daily, but few of them know the definition of “antioxidant”, nor that they’ve been a natural benefit of fruits and vegetables since the beginning of time. When we buy antioxidant enriched skin cream, we buy it because the act of lathering lotion on tired skin feels like health and beauty. Cosmetics companies are selling face cream (read: mental health) at 180.00/ounce—there is nothing practical about that.

We’ve created an entire language to serve function as a distinctive competitive edge. Skin creams introduced: “Free-Radicals,” “Cold Cream,” and “Anti-Aging Formula.” Hair care loves customization, boasting products like: “Anti-frizz,” “Thickening Serum,” and Conditioner for hair that is “Long, Fine, and Damaged.”

But women tend towards emotional decisions, no revelation there. So, consider the very masculine automobile industry.

Function has never been more important. Brakes, Power Locks, Seatbelts, and Safety are all tremendous selling points for those who are no longer in the position of buying a Malibu-friendly, two-seater convertible. But if a consumer states that “Safety” is the main concern when buying a new vehicle, that consumer is probably trying to protect something (or someone) that makes his heart beat faster than any car he’d ever own.

Doubtless, people like facts, statistics and function in a supporting role, they can certainly help justify any purchase, but at the heart of our most practical decisions is emotion. I encourage you to strip away the layers of your latest logical indulgence.

The Affliction of “Corporate Speak” - by Michael Laskin

If we speak to each other this way, can you imagine how we are speaking to consumers?
“What? Did you understand that?” “Huh?”
Is this a conversation that occurs in your office? Do you find that “corporate-speak” has become an indecipherable and endless well of sorrow? We at Syzygy Branding have created a Twelve Step Program for those afflicted with “corporate-speak.” Remember: it is a progressive disease, and the first step is to admit you have a problem. It might be too late for some of you, but if we can save one person from this astonishing lack of clarity, we feel we have succeeded.

The Twelve Steps

1. Attain consensus that we lack the key resources to successfully combat
“corporate-speak”, that our lives have reached stasis, and are in dire need of a holistic restructuring.

2. Believe that a key-enabler, greater than ourselves, could bring added value to our lives, and deliver an integrated proactive solution that will stabilize our lives.

3. Fast-track our resources, and seek a new paradigm with the
key-enabler who will function as a change-agent for our lives.

4. Conduct an in-depth moral inventory of ourselves and our deliverables.

5. Schedule a pre-meeting with our key enabler, and admit to ourselves (and to our team members) the true nature and depth of the “spoken clarity” issue.

6. Focus on having the key-enabler help us to identify an integrated solution that effectively deletes all “corporate-speak” from our nomenclature.

7. Humbly ask the key enabler to think outside-the-box and seek buy-in to create a breakthrough situation for all parties that can be spun as a win/win.

8. Create a database of all persons, team members, and strategic partners we have negatively impacted with “corporate-speak.” The directive is: expedite the making of amends to them all, while possibly creating an up-selling opportunity.

9. Seamlessly integrate these amends directly wherever possible, avoiding, emails, IM’s, and text messages.

10. Continue to perform due diligence regarding the “corporate speak” eradication initiative, and admit any culpability regarding the negative results of previous “corporate-speak” incidences on colleagues and co-workers.

11. Once all low hanging fruit has been picked on this initiative, seek through prayer and meditation to leverage our conscious contact with the key enabler, as we understand Him. At the end of the day, we seek validation and knowledge of His will for us (and our team), and the resources and timetable to carry that out.

12. Having had a valid and actionable spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we reach out to others, carrying this message of “spoken clarity” to those afflicted with “corporate-speak.” Make this a daily action item in our Palms, Blackberrys, and laptops.

Trans fat….Table for Two! - by Michael Laskin

It continually amazes me when we fight things that are so obviously good for us.
“No, we are not going to do that! We’re absolutely not! No way! (pause) Okay….. we’ll change, but just this once!”

Here’s a fun-fact: health officials in New York City estimate that the total banning of trans fatty oils in city restaurants will save 500 heart attack deaths there every year. Can you imagine how many lives would be saved if they banned all taxis? The verdict on trans fatty oils is overwhelming. No good comes from them. They should be relegated to the nutritional dustbin of history. While much of the rest of the world simply hasn’t enough food to eat, Americans argue over which fat is best for us. Let’s get some perspective here.

First Chicago, “city of big shoulders” (not to mention big stomachs), proposed the banning of trans fatty oils in restaurants. The verdict is still out on that one; the brat-and-beer crowd is not going down without a fight. After all, what’s more traditional than watching The Bears, while enjoying a trans-fat chaser?

Now New York City, the (self-proclaimed) center of the universe jumped on the bandwagon. Not to be outdone by Chicago, which had proposed this ban only for restaurants above a certain monetary level (i.e. large fast food chains like McDonalds, Dunkin’ Doughnuts, etc.), New York City is proposing this for ALL restaurants. First they cleaned up Times Square, now they’re “roto-rootering” our arteries.

Health-conscious Los Angeles doesn’t appear to have a government-mandated ban yet, but ominous signs are looming there as well. The popular Cheesecake Factory chain of restaurants has announced the elimination of all trans fatty oils. Wow. Their typical 3000-calorie dinner will be just that much better for you! We can all sleep better now. “Could you please pass the butter? (it’s a natural fat, after all).

The serious issue of childhood obesity and its health effects down the road provokes unanimity among scientists and nutritionists. Wouldn’t it seem logical for restaurants to do all they could to provide truly healthy meals for all? But, they fight it. They always fight it - until it stops making sense to fight it. Not one brand yet has really jumped on this bandwagon in a convincing way. I believe that any business that sincerely communicates their interest in the public good (over short-term profits) will make profits beyond their dreams. In our jaded marketplace true altruism can make for very good business.

It’s human nature to have a “knee-jerk” reaction against being told what is good for us and what is not. “Hey, if I want to kill myself by smoking that’s my business!” But there’s a real tangible reason why we don’t spray DDT on our produce anymore:
it’s bad for more people than it’s good for.

When people don’t take personal responsibility for their own health, an opportunity is created. Yes, there can be draconian government regulation with an issue like this (it seems we are moving in that direction), BUT wouldn’t it be better if enlightened brands chose to lead on this in a way that is real, authentic, and convincing? McDonalds was led kicking and screaming toward the inevitability of a more health-conscious menu. Now this dreaded sea-change seems to have had a positive effect on their profits. Hmmm.

“Let’s just keep making more of those SUV’s, that hybrid thing will never catch on.”

--Quote from a GM executive who took early retirement--

Halloween Spirits On the Rise - By Rebecca Barkin

I love Halloween. When Pumpkin Spice Lattes show up on coffee shop menus, I am instantly transformed into a happy holiday elf. October 31 kicks off the season and I start showering my loved ones with affection. I just mailed my 31 year old sister “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown,” to which she texted, “LOVE IT.” Apparently, at long last, there is evidence that one can spread holiday cheer.

The National Retail Federation is projecting overall Halloween spending to leap 34 percent to $4.96 billion. More than 3.5 million Americans will buy Halloween products for their pets this year. All of that “treating” totals about $59 per person.

More celebrating means big bucks for companies that routinely manufacture glow-in-the-dark skeletons and pirate costumes, not to mention pet care companies that are raking in thousands in puppy apparel, but it surely offers more opportunity than that. Holiday spending now has a viable reason to start in early September, and companies have a viable reason to tap into the Halloweener. Their habits tend toward impulsive and they’re not expecting late season sale prices.

The trick is that Halloween is not traditionally a “gift-giving” holiday, like Christmas, Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. Uniquely, the spending is selfish. It’s also starting earlier than ever. As of Sept 27, Yahoo’s Buzz Index ranks Halloween at #13 overall in internet searches, which gives consumers over a month to keep buying.

A broader observation should hope to discover an overall trend, or the psychology behind the surge in celebration. Why is your post office worker waking extra early to dress-up like Dracula for work? The answer is a society-endorsed 24 hours of freedom to fantasize. For one day, it is perfectly acceptable to hind behind something gruesome or glamorous, so long as we’re not ourselves.

Consider that every year, we work harder. Every September, our bosses turn up the pressure. Most of us are striving towards unreasonable fourth quarter numbers, which we’re less equipped to deal with because we skipped vacation again—a growing habit that reeks more heart havoc than greasy hamburgers. By the time the “traditional” holidays arrive, we’re wrapping presents while the pie bakes, cleaning to a crooning Sinatra, and chatting with long lost relatives, entirely too stressed to enjoy the 2 days we’ve given ourselves to relax.

Halloween, by contrast, is a complete return to monster-mashing silliness, a release the Spirits industry, for example, was more than happy to help with. Coors Light jumped on the bandwagon years ago with their Elvira “Mistress of the Dark” campaign, helping Halloween become a drinking holiday to rival St. Patrick’s. Guinness has run a “Reveal Your Dark Side” Halloween campaign. These brands found a way to join in the celebration, and they’ve reconnected with young adults in the process.

Aside from alcohol, consider Hallmark, Rite Aid, and Petco, companies that may not have originally catered to Halloween shoppers, but eventually aligned themselves with demand.

Even the history of the holiday recounts an end of harvest festival to honor the dead, as well as the harsh winter ahead. The day encourages us, in a very grave world, to take life lightly—to recognize power in pleasure and longevity in laughter. What consumers are saying as they line up outside of Halloween Spirit stores nationwide is that they are craving a bit of escape from themselves and from obligation.

This year, over 35 Million pounds of Candy Corns will be consumed. That is more than enough for dinner. Now, dress up like a pirate and terrorize the neighborhood. You’re excused.

Syzygy’s Top Ten Reason’s Not To Do Focus Groups

10. The last time someone said, “Awesome! We’re doing groups!” was during the Carter administration.

9. Two-way mirrors make respondents feel like perps on Law & Order.

8. Harmful side effects from back room food: Nervous eating, weight gain and nausea.

7. What focus group? I’m emailing my boss, working on my fantasy football team and making dinner reservations.

6. Wandering hands of airport security agents as they frisk you for illicit carry-on toothpaste.

5. Respondents now more familiar with marketing-speak than Harvard MBA’s.

4. Don’t those recruiters do a great job getting us fresh, articulate respondents?

3. Forget about cat food…let me tell you about why my life sucks.

2. Hours of sitting quietly in dark rooms linked to early onset of dementia.

And the number one reason not to do groups…

1. Agency art directors talking about how respondents are idiots because they don’t get our ad campaign.

SpiralFrog: Free Music Model Will Only Cost You Your Brain Cells – by Rebecca Barkin

“Spam” is a great word. Not only is it an acronym for unsolicited advertising mail, but it actually sounds like a slap across the face. Like a comic book, the word belongs in a text bubble right above my head as yet another unwelcome ad passes in front of my eyes. Pow. Bam. Spam. Got me again.

Evolving into a concept more than literal “mail,” Spam tags along with us to work, to the grocery store, and absorbs a good bit of our time at home assuming you’ve got a computer, a television, or a mailman. Granted, we choose the stations we watch and listen to, as well as the websites we visit, so to a certain degree our Spam is tailored.

If I read my horoscope everyday, for example, I might see an ad from the latest manufacturer to attempt stain-free deodorant for women (which despite all of the world’s advancements, has never been effectively accomplished). Well-targeted. Am I interested? Yes, but not when it interferes with my Moonology report, which I’ve got 10 seconds to read before my next meeting.

If you’re into music and its slow crawl into the digital era, you may have noticed the emergence of SpiralFrog, a new Digital Service Provider that is poised for rivalry with iTunes. SpiralFrog differentiates itself from other music sites by existing as an entirely ad-supported service, making the service “free” for consumers. At last, what was once thievery is actually legal, provided you use your brain cells as currency.

Universal Music recently teamed up with the techies to offer their mammoth library of popular music in support of this new concept. SpiralFrog hopes other labels will follow suit.

However, if you’re spam protection is on high, and your patience is low, be aware that SpiralFrog will likely crush your initial enthusiasm for free Neil Diamond downloads with an obligatory 90 second block of advertisements.

Being that the site plans to launch in December of 2006, it is unclear how often one will have to endure the block of ads during the downloading process. Nor is it clear whether the ads you see will be effected by the genre of music or artists that you choose to download (i.e. hit up the Neil Youngers with Prius Ads and the 36 Mafia roughneckers with Hummer Ads). I’ve also wondered if the download process will be “slowed” to accommodate more advertising.

When considering if this new format will work with consumers, I thought about what most Americans value most: time and money.

Time, or convenience, is about getting what you want when you want it, quickly and without hassle. Spam, which is essentially what you are forced to sit through while downloading SpiralFrog content is not at all convenient, it’s annoying, and it’s a part of the model that most people will likely leave the room for, rendering it ineffective. On iTunes or Rhapsody, I decide that I like a song, and click. 20 seconds later, I can upload it to my iPod. No ads, no fuss and I can still afford lunch.

On the other hand, assuming inconvenience is a fair trade for “free,” consider that most people that are insistent on downloading free of charge have already found their process, and it doesn’t involve be subjected to advertising. Why would they switch?

If the idea is to convert the delinquents to legal downloading, you’re efforts are better spent trying to sell them a conscience. These people enjoy getting over on the system and they love cracking codes. It’s a challenge, not an act that sends them shuffling sorely to Confession. Furthermore, these thieves are not stealing because they are poverty stricken; this is not a desperate question of rice vs. a classic Rolling Stones cut. People stealing out of necessity likely don’t have computers and MP3 players to download to.

I would argue that those that are buying 10 and 20 songs a month on iTunes like being part of a community that supports their favorite artists with a seemingly direct contribution. Don’t underestimate the personal satisfaction that comes with identifying something that you want to own, and purchasing it. It’s capitalism, it’s freedom, it’s credit card debt, but it is what this country is about.

I would assume that the target audience for 90 seconds of advertising is those that want (and are able) to pay for the things that they like? If we present advertisements for items that are not free to a population that has identified “free” as the most important factor in the services they choose, haven’t we missed the point?

Desperate Admen & The Cro-Magnavox Man

The following article appeared in today’s Wall Street Journal:

In Japan, Broadcasters Pitch Commercials With Commercials

We were all so struck by it, we all had to comment.


Desperate Admen - by Jeff Hirsch

It seems that digital recorders, along with a general disregard for ads in general, have sent viewership of commercials and advertising revenues plummeting. “They don’t catch people’s attention that much anymore,” according to a Japanese TV producer quoted in the piece.

The solution? Let’s make ads for people to watch ads!

We’ve mused about “creative bankruptcy” before, but not even Saturday Night Live could come up with something so absurd. Stranger than fiction, if you ask me.

The ever so brilliant reasoning: Let’s take something that’s broken and try to fix it with something that’s broken. And let’s tell our targets, both the companies that may potentially run ads and the people who will ultimately view them, that the medium is in its death throes.

It’s the ultimate irony. If there’s any hope to revive television commercial viewership, it’s got to be done through some type of under-the-radar buzz campaign. We already know the ads aren’t working.

Truly, this fits nicely under Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result.”

And the thought of generations connecting because of a TV ad? Are you kidding me?!


Cro-Magnavox Man - by Michael Laskin

Timeline:

50,000 BC – 1948 AD: The Age of Darkness

During this long dark period, The Cro-Magnavox Man had to amuse and educate himself via live interaction with others of his species. This was often accomplished in a face-to-face manner, around fires, or in what later became known as bars or taverns. Very little was accomplished in this long era, but there are writings that suggest it was not without amusement or accomplishments. There are no known survivors of this era.

1948 AD – 1960 AD: The Age of Discovery

A small, grainy, projected black-and-white image in people’s living rooms brought a sense of community and awe to the Cro-Magnavox Man. He and the other
hunter-gatherers (and their families and neighbors) would congregate around wooden pieces of furniture that housed this magical glowing device. All moving images would amuse and delight them: clowns, jugglers, chimps. singers, fire-eaters, and pretty women. They would often go to the bathroom or consume pretzels during the times when something that they called “commercials” were shown. This was truly the Age of Discovery for the Cro-Magnavox Man.

1960 AD – 1969 AD: The Age of Wonder

Some of the surviving Cro-Magnavox men refer to this hallowed period as The Age of Wonder, (also referred to by many as the “good old days).” This was the era when this magical device became known by its modern name: television. It achieved wondrous things: a televised presidential debate, the rise of Walter Cronkite, Dean Martin, Rod Serling, the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show, Red Skelton, and the landing of other Cro-Magnavox men on the moon! Truly for those fortunate enough to have lived in this golden time, The Age of Wonder hardly does it justice. The Cro-Magnavox men were enraptured by television and their buying habits were greatly influenced by the increasing number of commercials shown in this era – although bathroom and pretzel breaks were still documented.

1969 AD - 1984: The Beginning of Disillusionment

This era is marked by the beginning of the Cro-Magnavox Man’s doubts and fears about the world around him. He witnessed a horrible war on television every night. He saw hostages taken in other parts of the world. He learned that he might have something horrible called. “ring around the collar.” Grave doubts about the wonders of our world took hold in this era. Is your laundry as white as your neighbors? Is it really true that “Winston tastes good like a cigarette should?” Where there was once astonishment, there was now fear. Where there was once “Father Knows Best”, there was now Archie Bunker. In 1980 AD a program called “The Cosby Show” brought a brief respite to this slow unraveling.

1984 AD – 2000 AD: The End Is Near

This era in television is characterized by the continuing disenchantment of the Cro-Magnavox Man. The ascent of a new format called MTV staved off this collapse for a while – playing upon Cro-Magnavox Man’s increasingly short attention span. (the repetitive messages his brain processed over the previous 40 years had left him with a diminished ability to process long in-depth messages).

However, near the end of this time, new messaging systems came into place that forever changed Cro-Magnavox’s interface with the world around him: the internet and Tivo. Suddenly he didn’t have to worry about “ring around the collar.” In fact, he didn’t have to hear any of those messages at all if he chose not to. And he didn’t have to be reminded that there was a Labor Day Sale somewhere he might miss. He could choose where and when he wanted to be spoken to. This liberating revelation freed the Cro-Magnavox Man to enjoy other pursuits. His enslavement to the “messaging masters” was nearing an end. And the Cro-Magnavox men (and women) who made those commercials for television were facing a time of great challenges. It was their Age of Downsizing.

2000 AD – present day

Many of the patterns from the previous era are still in place and, in fact, growing more prevalent. The future of Cro-Magnavox Man remains in a constant state of flux. He now receives commercial messages in many varied and different modes. There are even theorists that feel he may revert back to face-to-face interaction with others of his species. The makers of the television commercials can only try to replicate their previous dominance, but it seems they may be doomed to extinction. Only time will tell.

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Hummer: An Inconvenient Ad Campaign – by Michael Laskin

We’re all having a very long hot summer – record breaking in fact. This is the kind of summer that makes people think that global warming is clearly imminent. Now before you think I am about to make a grand political statement, please be assured that this is more of a “brand political statement.” Despite where you come down on these issues, you can’t help but take note of the new campaign that Hummer is rolling out.

SUV sales are way off, gas prices are sky high, and the backlash against gas-guzzling vehicles is more than a rumor. With this backdrop it’s definitely a challenge to try to sell vehicles that get abysmal gas mileage and are the personification of HUGE. The product is 100% politically incorrect. The marketers at Hummer have made a bold (and perhaps smart) business decision to preach to the choir. Given that they cannot change their product line any time soon, it may make sense, in the short term, to “go with what we’ve got.” I assume they think that Sierra Club members won’t buy one anyway, so why try to win them over. Let’s play “to the base.” Let’s appeal to the core gut feeling that is behind this craze: “I’ve got mine. It’s bigger than yours, so get out of my way.”

One recent commercial shows a young guy in the checkout line with tofu and veggies. Crowding him at the rear of the line (just behind the portable divider) is a guy with a huge slab of meat along with other items that would be antithetical to “Mr. Tofu”. Naturally he is a Hummer owner and by the end of the spot “Mr. Tofu” has got his own Hummer and has rediscovered that he’s a carnivore to the core. This ad, along with others like the soccer mom whose family van gets nearly run over by a Hummer and by the end of the spot she’s bought her own Hummer to exact revenge, very cleverly articulate the brand's core identity. They seem to not only embrace behavior thought to be bad by a large number of people, but also to totally shrug off the scorn and ridicule that many have for these behemoths. You’d think they’d be a tad embarrassed, but the ads adroitly play upon the underlying emotion behind the brand: people who drive enormous, military-style vehicles around city streets are never embarrassed. The emotional core of the Hummer brand is, to some extent, a total (and aggressive) disregard for what anyone else thinks. “You wanna’ go outside and settle this?!”

So, where does this leave us? It used to be that ads could be many things, but they could never offend. In the days of broadcasting in the truest sense of the word, television ads had to have broad appeal and embrace common values because they were on network television when it’s reach was wide and deep. Today we have “narrowcasting.” With strategic pinpoint media buys, rather than the carpet bomb approach of old, it seems that a brand like Hummer can afford to offend. When you have the worst record in the MPG wars, don’t duck and cover. Embrace it! Trumpet it! Toss it in their faces!

I confess that I have no idea how this will shake out. It seems that eventually this approach will turn off too many, but one never knows. Like all other vehicles in the “leviathan category”, their sales are not good. Perhaps that was the genesis of this “in your face” approach to begin with. In the meantime, Hummer is laughing all the way to…the gas station.

The Art Of Concept Development: No Respect. No Respect At All - by Jeff Hirsch

The execution of new product and positioning concepts for research or internal review is the Rodney Dangerfield of marketing. It gets no respect.

Companies spend millions on developing ads – often for brands that are flawed or doomed outright from the lack of a big idea. There are also many cases of brand logos that cost a million dollars or more.

Yet most companies invest relatively little or nothing in the execution of concepts. Make no mistake: concepts are the acorns from which oak trees sprout. Discard one too fast, or neglect the promising ones, and you’ve left a lot of money on the table. This is shocking, considering that expressing ideas clearly and succinctly for research purposes or internal review at the outset of the process may be the most critical aspect of marketing.

Some feel that if the idea is big enough, it will overcome executional hurdles and offer something simply irresistible to consumers. But that’s simply not the case. If concepts are not executed in a pure, unfettered manner (in the blink of an eye so to speak) they’ll die prematurely - slain by focus group respondents distracted from the core idea or by impatient observers in the back room.

Fortunately, the flip side holds just as true. A wide range of singular, well executed concepts will always raise the odds of developing that “winner” exponentially. This is an opportunity often not taken.

“I’ll write them in my spare time,” might be the refrain of the already overworked Brand Manager, who has no real training or affinity for this task. More often, one hears, “Just let the agency do it.”

If both scenarios don’t end in disaster, they most often end in sub-par work. Agencies, whose bread and butter is making ads, will put the most junior account people on the job. Not only do they lack the experience, creativity and writing expertise to bring concepts to life effectively, their work will nearly always be oriented toward an “advertising possibility” - a yet-to-be-created ad probably based on a gimmick, not a cohesive marketing strategy.

In contrast, the Brand Manager will often write from a completely rational perspective, communicating some tangible product benefit (“tastes good,” e.g.) rather than conveying the emotional experience that results from using the product.

Let’s show some respect!

This is a job for experts: creative people with an intuitive grasp of how consumers interact with brands and incorporate them into their lives.

In the end, fully developed concepts that creatively hit all the true emotional and strategic notes will help everyone sell more and profit more. Optimally executed concepts will inevitably lead to breakthrough brand strategies and executions.

My next few “Musings” will talk about the nature of great concepts, from finding that core “emotional essence” to specific formatting tactics.

The Yin and Yang of the Buzz - by Michael Laskin

I remember shopping at a leather goods store on the Ponte Vecchio that had the absolute best quality wallets, belts, and purses in Florence, bar none (maybe the world). Saying that this guy’s leather goods were like butter would be a definite compliment to the butter. “Total artistry in dead animal skins” might be an apt description. Do you think he has to advertise? Not really. Given a great location and a superior product his only problem is dealing with demand (and success).

Anyone who sells a product or service anywhere in the world knows the value of the buzz. When your product is clearly better than your competitors the buzz begins. People talk about your goods. People seek you out. Pretty soon you can’t keep up with the demand. A note on your door soon follows saying that you’ve “run out for a cappuccino, so please be patient. I’ll be back in 20 minutes.” And, they’ll wait.

I will preface the following story by saying I’m one who embraces technological changes slowly, carefully, and with trepidation. With all the new computer-driven stuff that populates my life, I feel like I need a full-time live-in IT person at my house.

I was at The Apple Store in Sherman Oaks for some trouble shooting on my laptop (I’m a Mac guy). I did the up-to-date streamlined thing and made my appointment online to see a person at “The Genius Bar” – the long counter where the resident “geniuses” help you maneuver the sometimes-mystifying inner workings of your hard drive. I showed up at the predetermined time, but it appears that even geniuses have their issues because they were running 45 minutes late. This gave me time to soak in the vibe, the ethos, and the buzz of the Apple experience. And that’s when I had a “light bulb” experience: I saw both ends of the buzz spectrum played out simultaneously.

To my left there was a woman who was definitely pushing 80. She was sitting at a new G-5 with a very patient, sweet, and perky Apple salesperson in her mid-20’s. This young woman had one of those husky damaged voices that sounded like she’d been a cheerleader in high school and all that screaming had left her with nodes on her vocal cords. Her voice could be heard quite clearly all over the store as she patiently and cheerfully gave this older lady a tutorial on computer basics: clicking the mouse, dragging things on the desktop, opening applications. You couldn’t create an ad for Apple better than this. Here was this terrific young woman taking a lot of valuable time carefully mentoring this senior citizen in “Computer Operation 101.” It embodied all that Apple stands for. This was a total buzz moment. Everyone who saw this had it register either consciously or subliminally. This was definitely something you wouldn’t see at Radio Shack.

Finally it was my time to step up to “The Genius Bar.” I was greeted by a blasé world-weary young man who, though clearly a genius, was deigning to help me with my computer issues. I explained that I’d spent nearly an hour with two people from Apple on the phone, and they couldn’t resolve the issue. He wordlessly looked at me, then at the laptop, and literally within 2 minutes had completely solved the problem – his hands racing over the keys and interfacing with the laptop in a way I’d never imagined possible. It was done in silence, and was nearly metaphysical. He calmly returned the machine to me, fixed, correct, and humming along as it was designed to do. He didn’t break a sweat. This guy was definitely slumming at “The Genius Bar” at the Apple Store.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think that, on the whole, Apple does an amazing job with their service and products. But if the young lady tutoring the old woman on the G-5 is the “yin” of the buzz, then this guy was clearly the “yang.” Both were extremely knowledgeable and helpful. But one took on her task with grace, patience, and good humor. The other with barely-disguised boredom. This is the challenge of maintaining the buzz. Success in the extreme can sometimes make everyday human relations with customers seem like a chore. That is, unless you are that hopeful, positive, young woman who understands that, like a restaurant, you’re only as good as the last meal you served. We’d be smart to recall Yogi Berra’s quotation about successful restaurants. He said, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”

The Lure of Adequacy - by Michael Laskin

I’m one of the few nut jobs who actually watched the winter Olympics in Torino. The dismal TV ratings do not reflect my passion for ice and snow. No….I’m not a figure skating groupie (let’s get that straight – pardon the expression). But, from my comfortable California perch, I do long for the icy nostalgia of my Minnesota youth, and get vicarious thrills from seeing hockey, ski jumping, and the giant slalom.

One of the things that struck me this year is the overblown hype surrounding those personalities that the media and sponsors anoint as this Olympic’s new heroes (before they’ve actually won any medals). It’s always been thus, but it does get “hype-ier” each time around. Every Olympics seems to have a Bode Miller: a guy the media builds up and summarily dumps when he flops miserably and doesn’t live up to unreasonable expectations. Sasha Cohen folded to some extent, but she did get the Silver Medal. Bode? Nothing. Most of these athletes, having gone 0 for 5 as Bode did, hang their head in shame and have compelling reasons why this bad fortune haunted them (a mother in the hospital, a hardscrabble childhood….whatever). Not our Bode. He seems to be totally content with himself, his effort, and offers no mea culpa for his hard-driving carousing lifestyle that just might have had an impact on his performance.

The media, the sponsors, and the public want our heroes to be hitting a “walk-off” home run with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 9th to win the World Series in game 7. Nothing less will do. Heaven forbid if you are a mere mortal.

This leads me to another conclusion. It is human nature to want things. But our insatiability seems to require “new”, “bigger”, “more”, “better”, and “bling-bling.”. We are addicted to abundance in a world that cannot continuously provide that forever. Deep in our hearts we know that some day the party will be over. There will come a day of reckoning in the not too distant future when endless abundance may not be in the cards for our culture. When you go to the supermarket and see hundreds of cereals for sale, the mere anxiety of choice can be overwhelming. Is it possible that the plethora of choices has reached the point of diminishing returns?

So….what ever happened to adequacy? Why must we go from 0 to 60 mph in under 6 seconds? With traffic as it is in most American cities, 0 to 60 in 9 or 10 seconds is perfectly adequate. Why must we haul around tons of metal, rubber, and leather everyday for that one family camping trip we may take once every year or two? We just might want to think about embracing the virtues of adequacy. Might it actually be better to get what you truly need than what you think you want? It will be an enormous and interesting challenge to try and sell that concept to a public weaned on continuous abundance. Everyone knows that laboratory mice live a great deal longer if they are given less to eat than normal mice. We will need to eat less…..but feel satisfied and good about that. The challenge will be to convince us all of the value of this. We may not have a choice. After all, the Chinese and Indians are all going to want their refrigerators, cars, and air conditioners too.

Trust the Buzz! My Prius Experience - by Jeff Hirsch

One day, a friend let me drive his Prius.

Wow – what was that fun. It gets what per gallon? Are you serious? And it’s cool. Says all the right things about me. It costs what? About $30,000, loaded? Wow, I can be cool for half the price of a fancy Lexus or BMW? Way cool!

OK, I’m interested. My old Volvo is fading fast and I’ll need a car soon. So I start asking everyone I see driving a Prius what they think. I couldn’t stop them from talking. On the way in for coffee, on the out to work, with kids, with friends, dates, spouses – they drop everything to tell a stranger how wonderful their Prius is. It’s love!

Hey – I want to be in this club!

So now I am. And me – worldly, sophisticated, savvy – now I’m drinking the Kool-Aid too. The buzz grows…

The product is amazing. It delights me every time I get into the car. The dealer was incredible as well. Here’s the price. No premium over list, no tricks, in and out in a bit more than an hour. Then they delivered the car, with a full tank of gas, a week earlier than they promised.

It all begs a simple question. Do great products really need advertising?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Prius ad. Why would I? Toyota has built a phenomenal product and delivers it with attentive, honest straightforward service. They under promise and over deliver. More importantly, every step of the process, every interaction with the car, seems to be enveloped in a warm, human touch.

You feel like you belong in that car. They made it just for you. Comfort, performance, some fun gadgetry – it’s all there because someone was thinking about me. Really thinking about what I want and what’s important to me. The follow through with the dealer was the icing on the cake.

Build a great product, seed it properly with public relations, control the message at the point of sale, and most importantly, humanize the experience. You’ll get the buzz. Everyone talks about, but no one trusts it. Because humanity can’t be quantified. Nor can the “buzz.”

But staying “in control” with the usual left-brain oriented, process-driven, quantifiable approaches provides a false sense of security. True, I can measure reach and frequency with ads, but are these numbers really meaningful in the age of Tivo, clutter, consumer awareness and cynicism?

Here’s some food for thought.

I wonder what would happen if American Airlines stopped making feel good TV ads that falsely promote their feel bad service. Rather, they take that money (and more) to rip out seats so that adults can sit comfortably, put an additional flight attendant in coach, feed their passengers and simply treat people with dignity, as if they were appreciated guests rather than cattle. They might want to simply pricing as well, while they’re at it.

Right, I don’t get it – the economics of the airlines business are so much more complicated than that. Still, simplistic as it is, it seems to me that people would start telling each other what great flights they had. Yes, it costs a bit more, but it was so worth it! Or better yet, it costs the same but it’s so much better! “You’re flying United? Why in the world would you do that when American is so much better? They really get me on American!”

Advertising is still an important awareness-raising tool in the marketing mix. But without a big idea, one that connects on a deep, human, emotional level, you’re just wasting your money.

So make it great, make it personal, humanize it, and you may hear a faint sound in the background. What is that? Sounds like kind of a…buzz.

Correction

Thanks to our many erudite friends who wrote in to tell us that it was not Charles Revson, but the seminal Philadelphia retailer John Wanamaker who said, "Half of my advertising budget is wasted. I just don't know which half."

The correction has been made to our post of January 2, 2006, "The Best Product Placement Ever."

If you'd like to peruse a brief biography of this incredible innovator, check out www.geocities.com/Heartland/4547/wanamaker.html.

I'm grateful that people are reading our Musings!

Springtime for Marketing! - by Jeff Hirsch

I was going to write about the Super Bowl. Every marketer worth his salt needs his turn to vent the usual outrage about how companies waste vast sums of money on ads, how ads used to be boring but sell products but now they’re entertaining and sell nothing, how the game always stinks, blah, blah, blah.

As I was talking about the piece in the office one day, my friend and colleague Michael Laskin said, “The best thing about the Super Bowl is that football is finally over.”

This comment immediately transformed my state of mind. Because for me, the Super Bowl marks the beginning of the end for winter, as the gloom slowly but unmistakably lifts and the light starts to return. More importantly, and the true intent behind Michael’s comment, it means that baseball is almost here again!

Next thing I know, I see the following headline from AP on my computer screen, heralding the start of Spring Training:

Wednesday is the day fans have been waiting for since October: Pitchers and catchers take the field!

Ahhhhhh Spring! Baseball. Optimism. Renewal.

Why rant about what everyone is doing wrong (even though we consultants love to do that)? Better to feel the warm sun caressing your face, cold beer in hand, nothing to do but relax and take in the game. The players aren’t on the clock and neither are you. You can think intensely about the game or let your mind wander. Your choice, your time.

Which finally brings me to the point.

Where has the time gone? Not in our lives, but in our workdays?

Corporate America sends a clear message to its managers. Work fast, work smart (whatever that means). Justify every expenditure and every last second of your time. The clock is ticking! Achieve! Toughen up! Put your personal life on hold! Play hurt! We need to make our numbers!

So there you have it, everything that is wrong with business today and why baseball is a far better model for marketers than football.

Life and business, like baseball, go on and on. There are sixteen hours of play over sixteen weeks in the regular season NFL schedule. Baseball goes for over six months, 162 games at two and a half to three or more hours each. It demands attention for the long-term, the big picture. You can’t start your best pitcher everyday. Not all of your everyday players are Cal Ripken – you’ve got to rest them when they have aches and pains. Don’t start your catcher on a day game following a night game, you’ll blow out his knees.

In other words, when you play everyday, you can’t beat yourself up constantly and expect the best results. The mind doesn’t function well in a constant state of stress. To be truly creative, we need time to let things ruminate in our brains, to let our unconscious do its important work.

Think baseball, not football. It’s the difference between winter and summer, the dark and the light. It will transform you.

After all, which scenario do you think is more conducive to creativity? When you’re eating too much, drinking too much too fast, freezing your butt off, drinking more to convince yourself your not freezing your butt off, surrounded by raving lunatics and thinking about how depressed you’ll be (and how many fights in you’ll see in the parking lot) if your team loses?

Or relaxing on a warm summer day or night, hanging out with friends and family, smile on your face, thinking that there’s no place you’d rather be, and knowing that there’s always another game tomorrow?

The Best Product Placement Ever - by Jeff Hirsch

Today's New York Times features a piece on "Virtual Product Placement" in the business section.

The great Philadelphia retailer John Wanamaker once said, "Half of my advertising budget is wasted. I only wish I knew which half."

In the case of product placement, I think I'm safe in saying that 90%-99% is probably wasted. Does anyone really think that a shot of Club Crackers digitally inserted into an episode of "Yes, Dear" is going to help their business? Well, someone does. Maybe since I don't get "Product Placement News" or whatever trade journal covers that kind of thing I'm not seeing the numbers that justify the investment.

The way I look at it is that if a product "organically" shows up in a movie or TV show, plays a prominent role and really helps define the story or one of the characters, you've got a winner. But it takes a very enlightened advertiser and an extremely open-mined (or greedy) artist to really make this happen.

For example, the Jerry Seinfeld character loved cereal in his show. But he was into variety, and one brand was never dominant. I wonder, if Jerry's childhood favorite was Trix, and we saw that box in 20+ episodes over several years, what might have happened to that brand.

Lucky for us that there was some artistic integrity to the show.

The best product placements do not originate with marketers, but with artists. My personal favorite - The "Bosco" episode of Seinfeld. Bosco (the chocolate syrup) was George's ATM password. He wouldn't share it with anyone, even his fiance. If you saw this episode, it's unlikely you'll forget it. I wonder if Bosco sales kicked up after that?

Anyway, desperation is truly in the air when marketers cut and paste products into TV shows and hope for the best. Another in the collection of unrelated tactics that often try to pass for a "big idea" these days.

Creative Bankruptcy - by Michael Laskin

The world appears to be spinning out of control. Chaos seems to be zeitgeist of
our times. In the worlds of William Butler Yeats:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

The center cannot hold…..wow. Heavy. Very heavy.

I suppose you thought this piece was going to be clever and entertaining. That
Yeats is such a downer – he’s soooo 19th century. Which only proves to us that
things truly never change. The end of the world has always been near, and chaos
is, if not just around the corner, clearly visible down the block.

Against this cataclysmic backdrop the persuaders of the world have a difficult challenge. When it seems like nothing really works, they usually just go back to the old tried-and-
true – with predictably mediocre results.

Alka-Seltzer has just recycled its iconic “I can’t believe I ate the
whole thing” campaign. Great in its day, but do they really believe that anyone under 50 remembers? Or cares? Not to mention a few minor cultural, social and scientific changes that have occurred since it first aired in the sixties: Google, MTV, hybrid cars, sushi in Kentucky and online dating to mention a few. And, oh yes, medications such as Tagamet and Prilosec that make Alka-Seltzer seem ancient.

Can “Where’s the beef?” be far behind? I expect we’ll see it in the next sweeps.

Summer movies are based on old TV shows. Not just any old TV shows, but really
bad old TV shows like “The Dukes Of Hazzard”, “Starsky and Hutch”, and
“Bewitched” (although I do have a guilty-pleasure relationship with Elizabeth
Montgomery). Let’s not challenge, let’s anesthetize. Let’s not create, let’s recycle.
Recycling is great for plastic. Period.

From the disorder of the times comes a retreat to our comfort zone. Creative
bankruptcy takes over like slowly falling dominoes.

When the world seems unruly, it is EXACTLY the time to try for the creative home
run. To cut through all the crap, a home run is required – or at least a very hard
double into the right field gap. Singles won’t get you home.

Why do we so often resist the creative home run? What are we afraid of? The
resistance comes from moving outside of the comfort zone – from the warmth of
familiarity to the chill of the unknown. How many times have you seen a really
creative approach used to market a product and t